The Angel and Demon
by Togekiss the keyblade wielder
Summary: A collection of VanVen One shots. Ranging from Vanitas' creepiness, to Ven's innocence being obstructed. VANVEN SHIPPER FOREVER!
1. Shh!

So I believe that there is not enough VanVen stories out there (That is not a lemon). So I have took that into consideration and make a collection of One shots revolving around the two. Other pairings are most likely to be included in this collection.

* * *

Shh!

Twilight Town City Library

12:13 PM

Ventus sat quietly in the library, reading a book called _The Fault In Our Stars_, on a Table alone in the brightest corner in the Twilight Town Library. Normally, Terra or Aqua would be over protective assholes and say things like, "Your uke pheromones might attract rapists and molesters and kidnap you!" Yup, that was the main reason why Terra or Aqua, or anyone in that matter, would not let Ventus out of his house. Of course, his brother looked exactly the same, Roxas, but, he was straight, and is currently dating a wonderful artist by the name of Namine.

Lurking in the shadows at a table just shaded by the blinds near the window a couple of tables near Ventus, sat the teenage demon from hell. _Vanitas._ (Thunderclaps and terrified girl screams.) His feet were propped up against the table, and his chair leaned backwards against the wall. He was smoking his daily cigarette, of course, not before disabling the smoke detectors. Vanitas scanned the room for easy targets, a girl with a jump rope? Nah. That weird boy with a beanie? Ew. But then _he _caught his eyes. A boy, with the sign "easy" and "innocence" were hanged around his neck, and boy, did Vanitas want some of him.

Ventus silently cried when Augustus died. He blew his nose on an over used handkerchief, dripping with mucus.

?: Need another tissue blondie?

Ventus swung his head to the sound of a teenage male's voice. He had raven black hair, and odd golden eyes. Odd, but beautiful. Just the sight made Ven blush.

Ventus: Uhh, sure!

Ven took the offered tissue from the mysterious boy, and wiped off all the snot from his face to make him presentable. But wait, who was that boy Terra said to stay away from?

Vanitas: So, _The Fault in Our Stars eh?_

Ventus: Uh...Yeah!

Vanitas: They get together. Augustus dies. Hazel get's really upset but get's over herself.

Ventus: Are you trying to spoil the book for me?

Ventus closed the book and crossed his arms.

Vanitas: Maybe. But from the book pile next to you, I can tell you what happens in _Looking for Alaska _and _The Secret Life of Bees_!

Ventus: No! Don't tell me!

Olette from a distant table: Shh!

Ventus: Sorry!

This was getting really annoying. For Ventus. For Vanitas, it was just the beginning.

Ventus: I am sorry, but could you please leave?

Vanitas:Mmm...No.

Ventus: Why not.

Vanitas: Because.

Ventus: Because why?

Vanitas: Because I don't want to.

Ventus: That is not a really valid answer to me.

Vanitas: Well it is to me.

Tifa from a distant table: Shh!

Ventus: Sorry!

Ok, scratch that. This guy was _really _getting annoying.

Ventus: Just who are you anyway?

Terra from a distance: VANITAS!

Selphie from a distant table: Shh!

Both boys swung their heads together as an incoming Terra and attempting to restrain him Aqua came stomping over to the boys.

Vanitas: Well if it isn't the grand master of idiocy himself.

Terra: Vanitas. What were you doing to Ventus?

Aqua: Ventus, did he hurt you, or touch you in any way?

Vanitas: Why do you treat the fag like a five year old any way?

Terra: What did you call him?

Terra said as he cracked his knuckles.

Larxene from a distant table: Shh!

Vanitas: Oh, I am so sorry gentle giant. I was only trying to get to know my future boyfriend.

Vanitas smirked as he brought Ventus closer to him, making Ventus yelp.

Terra: Lay a finger on him, and I swear to you I will make your life a living hell.

Vanitas brought his hand up for everyone to see, and squeezed Ventus' right butt cheek, causing Ventus to blush madly.

Vanitas: Too late!

Terra: Why I-

Vexen: Excuse me! You are causing such a ruckus in this library. I must ask you to leave the premises immediately.

Vexen ordered as he walked away.

Vanitas: Well that is my cue! See ya Terra. See ya later Venny!

Vanitas said as he gave a quick peck to Ventus' cheek.

Terra: Ugh! His nerve! C'mon guys, let's go.

He said as he picked up Ven's books and left with Aqua. Ventus however, stood there silently. He felt something in his back pocket, and grabbed the item to see a small piece of paper from Ven's book.

_Call me? 908-415-8679 -Vanitas_


	2. Text Messages

Text Messages

Highwind Apartment

4:13 AM

Ventus and Vanitas had eachothers phone numbers for a while now, for about three weeks now. And Vanitas has been blowin up Ven's phone like it was his business.

Conversation One:

Vanitas:Hey blondie.

Ventus: Hey.

Vanitas: Is that all you have to say to your boyfriend?

Ventus: WHAT?!

Vanitas: Were you really to mesmerised by my hotness to not even listen to me?

Ventus:...No...

Vanitas: So you were?

Ventus:...Maybe...And you are not my boyfriend! You don't even know if I am gay or not!

Vanitas: Doesn't matter. We both know you want my dick up your ass.

Ventus: SHUT UP! NO I DON'T!

Vanitas: You're blushing aren't you?

Ventus: No.

Vanitas:You are so bad at lying Venny.

Ventus: I am not that bad at lyin- wait, _Venny?_

Vanitas: Yup.

Ventus: Can I call you Vanny then?

Vanitas: Sure, Unless you want me to rape you tonight.

Ventus: :(

Vanitas: Whatever. See ya later Venny.

Conversation Two:

Vanitas: Hey Venny.

Ventus: Vanitas? It's like three in the morning!

Vanitas: So what. I want attention. From You.

Ventus: Good night Vanitas.

Vanitas: You aren't aloud to go back to bed.

Vanitas: You better reply back to me.

Vanitas: I am giving you five seconds to respond to me.

Vanitas: 5

Vanitas: 4

Vanitas: 3

Vanitas: 2

Vanitas: 1

_**Real Life**_

Vanitas: You should have texted me back Venny.

Ventus: Vanitas! What are you mmph...

Vanitas: Don't worry, I will use condoms...

Conversation Three:

Ventus: I hate you.

Vanitas: Well look who decides to make the effort to text me. You really had me getting worried that I would be the one to carry this relationship by myself.

Ventus: I hate you.

Vanitas: You should be happy that I took your virginity.

Ventus: Who says that?!

Vanitas: Well I did warn you that one day that I was going to rape you, so it is your own fault for not foreseeing my warnings.

Ventus: I hate you. My ass hurts now because of you.

Vanitas: Don't deny that you didn't want it.

Ventus: I begged you to stop like ten times!

Vanitas: You were also moaning twenty more.

Ventus:...I hate you.

Vanitas: Do you not have the ability to say anything else?

Ventus:...I really hate you.

Vanitas: Don't worry Venny. I will be back in a week to satisfy your Vanitas cravings.

Ventus: C-cravings?!

Vanitas: So cute. I am lucky I get to destroy your innocence.

Ventus: How does Sora stand living with you!?

Vanitas: He deals with it. He also sleeps with his eyes open if you wanted to know.

Ventus: I really do not appreciate that information about your twin.

Vanitas: Fine. Give me something disturbing about Roxas then.

Ventus: He masturbates like everyday.

Vanitas: That isn't bad. I masturbate five times a day.

Ventus:Goodbye Vanitas.

Vanitas:Whatever.


	3. Sticky Situation

Sticky Situation

Twilight Town Clock Tower

5:52 AM

The sun rose on this glorious day in Twilight Town. Ventus sat alone on the edge of the tower eating a strip of bacon as his breakfast. It was silent, and the morning rush of wind made Ventus feel like flying, if he could just sprout wings at any moment.

Ventus: Where is she...

Ventus looked left and right, but she could not be found anywhere.

Ventus: She better not have bailed on me again..

Namine: Ventus? Is that you or Roxas?

Namine said as she appeared out of no where. she was in her usual white dress on this fabulous morning.

Ventus: Namine, why would Roxas be up this early?

Namine: Good question, but how do I know Ventus doesn't get up this morning oh so peachy and happy?

Ventus: I'm not as happy as Sora all the time!

Namine: Good point. No offence to my sister, but I really wonder how can she put up with him...

Ventus: How do you put up with Roxas?

Namine: I have no idea. The real question is how does he put up with Axel all the time.

Both laughed a for a really long and unnecessary time, but they soon got back to business.

Namine: Ok, let's get down to business. (TO defeat, the huns!) Roxas was suppose to come instead, but I guess he tried to use you as an excuse. Again. So just hold this blue marble Xion stole from Riku's Struggle trophy and look into it while I draw you and pretend I am drawing Roxas.

Ventus: Why do you need to do this again?

Namine: Stupid Summer art homework. Some weird topic about light rays and exposure.

Ventus: RIght.

Namine: Say...Have you eaten breakfast yet?

Ventus: No...

Namine: Ah, poor Ventus always putting others before himself. Well, the painting is done, so I will be right back!

Namine set the painting leaning against the clock tower to dry out, revealing a portrait of Ventus that looked so life like. It literally looks like he was staring at his reflection.

* * *

Vanitas: Is he there Namine?

Namine: Yup! He is all yours. I will be back with some breakfast.

Namine left the raven headed devil from hell alone, hidden away from the shadows of the clocktower. Vanitas slowly crept near Ventus as the blond smiled and stared at the rising sun.

Vanitas: Boo.

Vanitas said ghostly. Ventus squeaked very high pitched, almost like a mouse.

Ventus: V-Vanitas!

Vanitas: You are so cute when you are terrified.

Vanitas smirked as he closed in the distance from him and Ventus.

Ventus: W-why are you here?!

The blonde said as he scooted himself against the base of the clock.

Vanitas: Because I can.

Ventus: It is not like you to be up early though!

Vantias: So and? Why can't I spend time with my boyfriend?

Ventus: We are not dating.

Vanitas:Plot twist! Yes we are.

Ventus: No. Shut up.

Vanitas: Excuse me?

Ventus: What?

Vanitas: Did you just disrespect your elder?

Ventus: You are only a couple months older than me older than me.

Vanitas: Exactly. I outrank you.

Ventus: Well I do not care. Stop acting like we are dating.

Vanitas: Ok. Only if you stop denying the fact that we are.

Ventus:...Go away.

Vanitas: No. I woke up early for a reason y'know.

And out of nowhere, as if by magic, Vanitas conjured up two sea salt ice creams.

Ventus: What the hell? Where did you get that?

Vanitas: Up my ass. Don't worry, I coated some special sauce on it since I know your a pussy with salty things.

Ventus: I am not!

Ventus said as he got all hot and bothered.

Vanitas: Ahh, is the little blondie all upset?

Vanitas said as he grabbed Vanitas' cheeks and played with them.

Ventus: Vanitas.

Vanitas: What.

Ventus: If your hands are tugging my cheeks, where did you put the ice cream?

Vanitas: I put them in between my legs you-

Ventus: Explain to me what is this wet and sticky liquid that is on our pants.

Looking down, Vanitas saw in amusement that the ice cream has melted, and has stuck the two boys' pants together like glue.

Vanitas: Well well well, looks like we got ourselves in a sticky situation.

Ventus: What! How can you be so calm! We are glued together and my pants are greasy and sticky!

Vanitas: And that is a bad thing because...

Ventus: Well, I...You...Agh! You planned this from the start!

Vanitas: What? Why would I-

Ventus: You put the ice cream where the sun could radiate the most amount of heat, then you put it in between your legs because they were close to me, then it melted, and then you slowly stuck our pants together! And from the beginning you told Namine-

_Namine. That stupid bitch was in on this too._

Vanitas: -Namine agreed to help me from the very beginning. And now it is just you and me...

Vanitas said as he closed the distance between him and Ventus, grinning like the freakin teenage demon from hell he was.

But at that moment, Namine shot out of nowhere carrying a bucket of maple syrup.

_Kur-plash!_

Namine has successfully glued together Ventus and Vanitas.

Namine's camera:Click! Snap! Flash! Click!

Namine: Yes! I got it all on camera!

Vanitas! What the? Namine, this was not part of the agreement!

Vanitas said as he and Ventus tried his best to unstick themselves from each other, until Ventus' clumsiness got the best of them, as he tripped and fell to the ground, bringing Vanitas along with him. But Vanitas was on top of Ventus:

Namine's Camera: Click! Snap!

Namine: Yes! I can use this to blackmail you two! Yaoi fan girls, unite!

Namine said as she ran off cackling with her painting and camera.

Ventus: Great, no where really stuck! What are we going to do?

Vanitas:...Wanna make out?

* * *

Alright, so I forgot that this fic existed because I was spendin time on another fanfiction site called archive of our own, indulging my yaoi cravings for Komahina. I am sorry everyone, I will try to update more, but if not, find me on Archive of our own bc I will most likely update more there despite the fact that I have no story's up.


	4. A little switcheroo

Switcheroo

Shady cafe in back alley

7:12 PM

(OK before I begin I just need to say how pissed I am because someone fucking stole my backpack. Does anyone know what is it like to have your work stolen from you? Specifically your writing journals?)

Roxas and Ventus sat in a cafe near the train station, sipping their coffee idly as they did there gross ass homework from there ratchet high school also known as the fiery depths of hell.

"What did you get for question three?" Ventus asked.

Roxas stared at his laptop screen with a blank expression, wide and drooling.

"Roxas. Roxas. Roxas are you listening to me?" Ventus asked as his eye twitched in annoyance.

"Roxas are you watching porn?" Ventus eyed his brother, and his reflection blushed furiously and closed the lid of his laptop.

"...I'm leaving." And with that, Ventus walked away from Roxas.

* * *

Entering the cafe, a very angered Namine burst through the doors of the cafe, searching for her missing boyfriend that missed their 24th anniversary date.

Namine: ROXAS!

Looking left and right frantically for the blonde haired bastard, she went as far as going into the boy's bathroom, only leaving a terrified Demyx screaming.

"WHERE IS ROXAS!?" Namine yelled in his ear.

"I-I don't knowpleasedontkillmeillsacrificezexytoyou!" Demyx wailed as he ducked and covered his head away from Namine, who ran out of the bathroom with eyes fixated onto her, until she found a certain blonde haired bastard, who was wearing his twin's clothes, most likely to set her off.

Namine approached Ventus from behind and grabbed him by his collar, lifting him out of his seat.

"YOU!"

"H-Hey Namine! I-isn't it your's and R-roxas' anniversary?" Ventus asked nervously, as he tried his best but failed to get out of Namine's grasp.

"DON'T YOU ISNT IT YOUR'S AND ROXAS' ANNIVERSARY ME YOU BLONDE HAIRED BASTARD!" Namine said as she dragged Ventus out of the cafe and plot her revenge. While Ventus tried his best to get of her grasp and try to convince her that he is not Roxas, but the horrors had already begun.

* * *

Entering the cafe from the back was our favorite teenage demon spawn from hell, Vanitas. (Little girl screams and thunder claps in the background.)

Vanitas walked in and scanned the area for his favorite blonde haired innocence he likes to disrupt and molest, until he finds Roxas sitting down alone on the counter typing up his essay.

"Hey Venny!" Vanitas purred as he grabbed Roxas by his chest.

"Um, hey Vanitas..." Roxas stared at Vanitas with a "you're a weirdo" expression on his face.

"Um, I hope you know I'm Roxas right?" Roxas said as he continued typing his essay.

"Feh, I'm not falling for that trick again Venny." Vanitas frowned.

"Well I have no idea what to tell you because last time I checked my birth certificate said Roxas and not Ventus."

"Stop being difficult and go and make out with me in the janitors closet."

"What?! How does Ventus put up with you?"

"Well you should know since your Ventus."

"I am Roxas!"

"Fine, it your Roxas, then what is Namine's favorite color?"

"Ummm..." This is what Roxas gets for not listening to Namine.

"Beige?"

"...Your joking right? Even I know what her favorite color is."

"Ok then, what is it?"

"It's white. It's kinda obvious."

"No it isn't! If anything, it is black!" Roxas testified.

"That's _Xion's _favorite color. Even I know that."

"Ok then...What's Axel's favorite color?"

"His favorite color is red."

"What?! I thought it was brown..." Roxas thought deeply in his head.

"Ok well, since you have shown me no proof that you are Roxas, you are coming with me!" Vanitas hit Roxas' head, knocking him out, and dragged him away to his motorcycle.


End file.
